Panic. Let me count the ways

Panic

I was asked by a journalist whether a panic attack is worse than a paper cut? In response to this question and to indicate the severity, allow me to list all of the things that I would rather experience than have a panic attack;

  • A kick in the vag
  • A kick in the vag from a person wearing boots
  • Stubbing my toe every hour on the hour
  • Falling face-first into dog sh**
  • Accidentally deleting all of my phone contacts
  • Accidentally deleting all of my Instagram followers
  • Giving up alcohol for life
  • Doing a skydive dressed as a budgie
  • A daily bitch slap from Ru Paul. (Tbf, that would be an honour).
  • Plucking out twenty nose hairs with rusty tweezers.

I’m sure you get the point. What about you, what would you rather experience than panic? Share with me on Instagram.

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